A far better alternative is buttermilk syrup. Better yet, you can make it from home, without that nasty high-fructose corn crap. (See my wife’s recipe in the comments below.)

I first tried buttermilk syrup a couple of years ago on pumpkin pancakes. Now, I insist on the delicious elixir anytime there’s a breakfeast “breading” in need of sweetening.

I recommend you do the same.

It’s called English Muffin Pizza. We had it for lunch today.

I’m not exactly sure of the origin, but I know Lindsey inherited the idea from her snazzy mother (thanks, Annette). The wife takes hers with pepperoni. The girlies and I are all about the cheese.

The recipe: English Muffin, sliced mozzarella, and your favorite pizza sauce and toppings broiled in the oven. Yum.

See also: Off-brand alternatives I won’t buy

As a general rule, food and video games are about as compatible as texting and driving (hint: they’re not). You might be able to get away with cold pizza with a controller in hand, but never stuff your pie-hole with this messiness during play:

5. Fried chicken
Unless you want to lose your game—or worse, your TV by a flying Wii remote—a firm grip on the controller is a must. That said, fried chicken, the greasiest of all finger foods, should be avoided at all times. As a Southerner, I like a delicious drumstick as much as the next guy. But you need professional help if you can’t stay away from the colonel’s original recipe for at least a couple of hours.

4. Glazed doughnuts
Mmmm. Doughnuts. Everybody loves doughnuts. Especially glazed ones. But not only will you sacrifice sure gaming footing while stuffing your face with the sticky goodness found on the latter, you’ll probably clog important bits and pieces on your controller with sugar syrup. Once that happens, kiss your controller goodbye, you slob.

3. Crab legs
The only thing worse than grease while playing video games is butter. And you can’t eat crab legs without liquefied butter, unless you happen to be a fish. Spilling a tiny cup of oiled fat on the sofa is bad enough. But a complete inability to clutch a controller due to buttery hands makes “the deadliest catch” a definite no-no while gaming. Plus, they’re too much work!

2. Rack of ribs
And you thought glazed doughnuts were bad. Although succulent, barbecue ribs are so messy, there should be warning labels on both game cases and take-out boxes not to mix the two. Your fatty self might be able to sneak by with a dry rub, but wet ribs should definitely be verboten in gaming rooms everywhere—by law if necessary. (See also: Buffalo wings)

1. Cheetos
After asking friends and fellow critics to name the No. 1 food to avoid while gaming, the overwhelming majority said Cheetos. Doritos are bad, but Cheetos are worse, because layers of cheese pile on fingers coat over coat, getting progressively gunkier the longer you eat. They’re certainly tasty, but Cheetos muck up controllers like nobody’s business. The worst gaming food of all time.

Dumb.

My latest fortune cookie, acquired last month after overpaying for an uneasy meal, was a keeper, however: “The project you have in mind will soon gain momentum.” I excitedly thought to myself, “Really? Which one? How soon? Tell me, omniscient Confucius!” I then slipped the two-inch piece of paper into my pocket and later onto my desk as a reminder of my fortune. After a discouraging precursor to Q1, I was willing to let even a cheap, dry cookie have an effect on my professional life.

Yesterday, I closed one of those deals — a reputable and ongoing account that is sure to bolster my portfolio and bank account. As a result, my faith in fortune cookies has been restored. My faith in suspect Chinese joints, on the other hand, has not.

Related: Let me dislike sushi in peace, please

To my surprise, however, the inside is not only immaculate, but the decor “feels” authentic, and the atmosphere is soothing. More importantly, the Japanese cuisine is some of the finest I’ve ever had at a price that makes me wonder how the shop stays in business — it’s more than reasonable. Ask for the Orem lunch, which comes with soup, salad, 5-6 delicious dumplings, steamed rice, and succulent teriyaki chicken. Sushi is thankfully optional.

So for any Utah natives looking for any new place to eat, look no further. Yamato is Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto. That didn’t make any sense… suffice it to say the place is really good. Thanks, Eliot!

• I enjoy coming home from a trip and am convinced the flight into Salt Lake City is one of the prettiest in the nation.
• Blackened alligator is better than sushi — confirmed!
• Louisianians fry more food than my native Georgia. Impressive.
• As has been customary, I’m entering the travel period of my year as the gaming industry gears up for its big fall push. I travel only 6-7 times a year, and prefer it that way. I’m an unadventurous city-slicker who is also a homebody. I even choke up a little when leaving for a short trip.
• Maddie, my six-month old looks really cute in shades.
• My wife’s sausage manicotti is delicious.
• Regular exercise is difficult for me. After three weeks of steady running, I let it slip this week.
• On a personal note, I just learned of the sudden passing of Jeff Jones in December at the hands of Leukemia. I considered Jeff a close, friendly, and respected professional colleague and worked extensively with him in 2006 and early 2007 before losing touch last summer. I would have his surviving family, friends, and associates know that Jeff was genuinely one of the kindest individuals I’ve had the pleasure of working with. He will be missed.

Have a great weekend, everyone.

My wife’s recipe is even better than the Melting Pot (no kidding) and comes at a substantial discount. For a mere $40, you can feed six adults fresh bread, strawberries, apples, bananas, lil’ smokies, pound cake, pretzels, marshmallows, and oreos with chocolate to spare. It’s so win.

So dust off that fondue set you received as a wedding gift but never used. You won’t be disappointed. In the off chance you are, I’ll harass you like sushi-junkie.

Fun fact: The Swiss invented fondue to enable the digestion of stale bread that had become so hard it could be “chopped with an ax.” Oh, and don’t mouth the dipping fork, you pig.

Publicly professing your gratitude once a year makes up for an otherwise selfish individual, right? Whatever the case, here are 10 things I’m thankful for in 2007, a day before Thanksgiving — some genuine, others with tongue in cheek.

1. My wife (Hi, Bella!). I like how she sacrifices her life, time, and ambitions to care full-time for the two beautiful girls you see pictured above. I like how she looks. I like how she lets me work from home. I like her delicious steak stroganoff.
2. Sadie and Maddie. Confirmed — two girls are better than one. Now pancake syrup from 20 little fingers (instead of just 10) can make its way onto my HDTV given Madison’s recent arrival. Sadie speaks in full sentences now, and Madison only wakes up twice during the night. Woot!
3. English. All 651,600 words (an average). Since devoting most of my time to writing over the last year, I’ve grown to love the English language — not to mention a good thesaurus.
4. My penthouse rental. She’s not the roomiest thing at 11,000 1,100 square feet, but she’s home. Many thanks to Clay, my generous landlord who knocked $100 off my December rent so I could take my wife to a fancy restaurant.
5. RSS. Three years since I first started using the technology, and I’m still in love. Don’t go after online content, let it come to you.
6. My clients. Many thanks to all those who sent me greenbacks this year — to my publishers for paying me to copywrite (hat tip GamePro, Next-Gen, GigaOm, Joystiq, Infendo, Crispy Gamer, and FutureWorks); to my sponsors for paying to advertise to my audience (Tribal Fusion, Value Click, Iseeq, and Feedburner); and to my clients for paying me trick out their websites (Weightloss Wars, Xclosure, Lovvorn Construction, Historical Arts, and S&L Inc).
7. My friends. Here’s a big shout out to The Andersen Family of Springville, the Carrino family from So Cal, Casey Willis in Atlanta Georgia, Sid Shuman from Oakland, Mark and Tim Ormond from pobre Salt Lake county, Micah Aldridge from Dallas Texas, Robert Bradford from wherever he’s currently living, James Wiley from Brooklyn, Chris Grant from Philly, Josh Steimle of Draper, the entire MSBL Cubs team, and the friendly Sharon Park 6th Ward. Represent!
8. Baseball. With steroids slowly being cleansed from the fields (Hi, Barry!), can this game get any better? MLB is still the best sport in existence followed closely by college football, grand slam tennis, and world cup soccer.
9. Impending elections. Only having President Bush in office for one more year is golden for the sake of our spiraling economy and global free-agency. Vote Ron Paul.
10. Benevolence. Don’t listen to the news — the human race is still capable of great, kind, and wonderful things. No, the sky isn’t falling, and yes I’m a romantic. Thanks to all those whom I came in contact with this year that freely gave of their time, their company, and their assistance. This includes countless colleagues, acquaintances, and even some strangers.

Honorable mention: video games. I wish I had more time to play, my little friends, but I promise some one-on-one over Christmas break. Oh, and to the seven individuals that helped rear me, the Snow Family (Hi, Mom and Dad!).

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!